Why Won't My Ex Keep Contacting Me Even After I Go No-Contact?

Dealing with an ex who is still reaching out can be frustrating and confusing. Many people mistakenly believe they are dealing with an "ex-narcissistic partner," but they are actually dealing with a "narcissistic ex." This type of behavior is a common pattern among individuals who engage in narcissistic manipulation. If you have truly gone no contact, he should not be able to keep in touch. This suggests that you might be willingly engaging with him in some way.

Understanding the Narcissist's Tactics

The narcissist is likely seeking to test your interest and confirm that you are still interested in him. By initiating contact, he is primarily seeking to gain supply. There can be several reasons for this behavior, but only the narcissist truly knows for certain. My experience with dealing with narcissists has provided insights into these tactics.

Why He Keeps Contacting You

There are a few possible reasons why your ex won't leave you alone:

He considers you his property and is seeking validation.

He wants a reaction from you to confirm your interest.

He is using you as a possible substitute in case his new relationship doesn't work out.

He may still be in love with you and is clinging to the hope that you might change your mind.

One common behavior is for a narcissist to seek to keep you engaged, even if you've formed a new relationship. For instance, you might tell him that you have moved on and are now involved with a new partner, so you don't have the time to continue chatting. When a narcissist feels rejection, it can lead them to become more desperate in their attempts to re-establish contact.

What to Do if He Won't Leave You Alone

Dealing with a stalking or narcissistic ex can be a serious issue. It's important to take steps to protect yourself:

Be assertive and tell him to stop contacting you outright. Emphasize that you no longer want to be involved.

Set clear boundaries and be consistent in enforcing them. If you have already engaged in any contact, notify him that you will not engage in the future.

Seek professional help by consulting a relationship coach or counselor from platforms like Fiverr. They can provide strategies and support to help you manage the situation.

Common types of behavior to be wary of include:

24/7 harassment.

Obsessive pursuit despite a clear decline of interest or involvement.

Desperate attempts to rekindle a romantic or intimate connection.

Protecting Yourself from Stalking Behavior

If your ex is crossing the line into stalking, it's crucial to take immediate action:

Stay with a trusted friend or male acquaintance when in public. A man seeing a woman with another male is less likely to attempt anything.

Be prepared to report any incidents of sexual assault or harassment. If possible, record his face for evidence.

Avoid walking alone, especially in areas where you might encounter the ex, such as near your workplace.

Inform the police if any suspicious behavior arises, ensuring your safety is a priority.

Conclusion

When dealing with a narcissistic ex who won't leave you alone, it's important to understand that the behavior often stems from a desire for validation and control. By setting clear boundaries and seeking professional help, you can regain control and safeguard your well-being. Remember, protecting yourself is the top priority.

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