The Dazzling and Detestable: Tales of My Most Memorable Art Commissions

Art commissions can often be like a rollercoaster ride, filled with both breathtaking moments and heart-stopping experiences. Here are some of the most memorable, and in some cases, the outright worst, commissions that have crossed my path over the years.

The Summer Retreat

The one that stands out vividly was when a couplecommissioned me to paint a watercolor of their summer retreat 30 years ago, in 1971. The location was an out-of-the-way spot with a small pond and a string of tract-like houses. I was following a regular paper map, and the heat was intense, almost like I had wandered into the Twilight Zone.

Upon arriving, I found a landscape that was far from what I imagined. The pond was like a large mud puddle in full sun, and the water was off-limits due to the giant snapping turtles. They had a canoe, so I painted them in it with their cottage in the background. For the other parts of the painting, I had to improvise and fabricate.

The experience was something I would rather forget. While the couple seemed to like the painting, they didn’t seem to understand the reality of the situation. My boyfriend who went with me was relieved, claiming that I had made it look charming. I, however, felt terrible about being paid for it, as it was adequate at best and I had put in a great deal of emotional and physical effort.

Italian Romantic Period Ceiling Art

In another instance, in 1971, a 19-stone lady taxi driver commissioned me to paint her and her 10-stone husband on their bedroom ceiling in a nude scene, with her as Libera and him as Bacchus, the Roman god and goddess of wine. They wanted the painting to be in the style of the Italian romantic period, with Tuscany landscapes, local ruins, and olive trees.

The commission involved renting scaffolding and planks, and I had to lie on my back for hours on end. I first created detailed drawings on layout paper and then used typists' carbon paper to transfer the images onto the ceiling. I used tempera paints for the first time, but they didn't work well. I had to switch to scene painter's paint, which worked much better.

Despite my struggles with the paint, the final result was greeted with joy and enthusiasm. I was asked to make the husband slightly more muscular, but he turned out more like Stanley Spencer than Michelangelo. The commission was paid ￡400 at the time, which equates to about ￡2,500 in today's money, which was about an eighth of my annual income. Ultimately, it ended well.

Lessons from the Worst Commissions

These experiences have taught me a lot about clients, patience, and the importance of clear communication. In the first commission, although the outcome wasn't what the client envisioned, it was a valuable lesson in adjusting to unexpected circumstances and finding the beauty in flaws. The second commission was about precision and the importance of a client’s vision and my ability to communicate effectively.

The worst commissions, in my opinion, are not just about the quality of the work but also about dealing with clients who are rigid in their demands or refuse to acknowledge reality. Trust and mutual respect are essential in any artistic collaboration.

Conclusion

Every art commission, whether memorable or detestable, provides a unique learning experience. It is these moments that shape my art and my approach to future commissions. I hope that each piece I create not only pleases the eye but also resonates with the soul and spirit of the client.