Overcoming Adversity: A Year of Self-Healing and Transformation

Dear readers,

This past year has been one of immense personal challenges for me. I have struggled with depression, and the response to my recent post about it has been incredibly moving. Many of you reaching out with your stories and sharing your experiences has given me hope and a sense of community in these tough times.

Autism also places unique challenges on individuals. Those of you who have reached out to me with your concerns or seeking understanding have given me strength. Similarly, for those who suspect they might be on the spectrum, your voices matter, and I am here to understand and support.

Now, as I sit down to write this, the landscape of my life is changing. I have decided to leave my home for a period of at least one year. This decision comes with a profound sense of both relief and uncertainty. I am moving to a quiet place where I can focus on myself and embark on a journey of healing.

A New Direction for My Life

The past few years have been marked by a significant lifestyle shift due to the pandemic and the lockdowns. The impact of these events on my mental and physical health has been profound. I found myself drinking wine every day, which I no longer enjoy. I am also an autistic person, sensitive to stimuli, and the mood of people. The recent energy crisis in Germany has only heightened my discomfort. With the collapse of my previous field of work and the challenges brought about by the pandemic, I found myself in a difficult position.

Desperate to make a change, I took a significant risk with all my savings. I rented an apartment elsewhere, paying it in advance, which represents a financial gamble. My intention is to focus on healthy living: no more alcohol, and a return to the nutritious diet I enjoyed three years ago. Writing and small, often informal jobs like waitressing or cleaning are what I plan to do to earn a little money.

But the most important aspect of this journey is the natural environment. I want to immerse myself in the wild nature, the sound of the waves, and the wind. I believe it is necessary to address the need for healing on a collective level. The world, especially Europe, is experiencing significant changes that impact the very fabric of society. We must either remain stagnant in our old ways or actively seek new paths forward to avoid becoming passive victims of the shifts around us.

Leaving My Comfort Zone

Leaving my current environment and the familiarity it brings has not been easy. Just the other day, I attended a tango dance, and then visited a pub with strangers. I was pushed out of my comfort zone, and while there were moments that felt like the old days, I made conscious choices to stay within healthy boundaries.

There were times, like when a woman next to me who was extremely overweight approached me and said she couldn't cope, that I felt deep emotions. It was a poignant reminder of the challenges faced by many in these uncertain times. Another encounter involved a computer scientist telling me about his loneliness at home for the past three years, and how wonderful it is to have human connection again.

Through these experiences, I have been reminded of the power of human connection and the importance of struggle and change. I am crying more often now, and my heart is heavy with the certainty of leaving something behind, but the journey ahead fills me with hope. It is a calling to embrace the change and allow the healing to begin.

Supporting Others in Their Journey

For those of you reading this who are also navigating personal challenges, I want to share that you are not alone. If you are autistic, or if you are experiencing mental health struggles, know that you matter. Your voice is important, and there are communities and resources available to support you.

As for myself, this journey is just beginning. I am open to share updates and progress, and I hope that in sharing my journey, it can inspire and resonate with others. Together, we can find the strength to navigate the challenges and heal.