Understanding Goth Culture and Dating

Goths are a subculture that has undergone significant changes over the past decade. Once known for being introverted and often seen as outcasts, they have now become more mainstream. This evolution is largely due to liberal left-wing politics embracing and popularizing subcultures. However, this shift has altered the dynamics of how goths approach dating. In this article, I share my insights and experiences dating both goth and non-goth partners.

First Impressions and Stereotypes

Goths are often stereotyped, and these stereotypes can lead to biased perceptions. Back when I was involved in the goth scene, I dated more non-goth guys than goths. This wasn’t just the exception but the rule. Some people dated goths out of novelty, while others were fellow goths. This diversity in dating experiences led me to conclude that both goths and non-goths can make great partners. Whether I was dating a goth or a non-goth, the factors that mattered most were mutual respect, compatibility, and a shared interest in unique experiences.

Understanding a Gothic Mentality

Dating a goth can be compared to dating someone who is dealing with mental health challenges, much like they might have a tendency to use drugs or seek attention through various means. It’s important to view them as human beings and not treat them as inhuman. Misunderstandings and negative stereotypes only lead to failed relationships. Gothic individuals often identify with the moon, the feminine, and the occult, which stems from a deep sense of empathy and intelligence or personal experience with being neurodivergent or in existential pain.

Attracting and Respecting Gothic Women

Many people are attracted to gothic women for various reasons. Some are drawn to the darkness and mystery, while others simply want to be themselves and find a partner with similar values. However, the desire to “conquer the darkness” or see gothic women as objects is misplaced. True success in dating a goth comes when you understand and respect their unique personality and interests.

Aesthetics and Interests

Gothic aesthetics are not just about creating fear or provoking reactions. It’s a way to create a negative space where individuality can thrive. Goths spend countless hours on their hardware (outfits) and often highlight their obsession with non-mainstream media. However, it’s important to remember that objectification is a mutual experience. If you find someone attractive in a goth aesthetic, you should expect to be held to a higher sexual standard too.

Building a Relationship

To have a lasting relationship with a goth, you need to invest effort and respect. Goths are often attracted to creatives, programmers, activists, and iconoclasts, values that align with a visionary mindset. Build the relationship on mutual respect and shared interests. Avoid cheating and misogyny, as these attitudes will lead to rejection. By being genuine and putting in the effort, you can create a meaningful connection with a goth partner.