Forgiving Yourself for Bold Choices: Learning from the Past

It's not uncommon to reflect on past decisions with a mix of pride and regret, especially when following our passions leads to challenges and hardships. Ten years ago, I made a bold choice to leave a lucrative career and venture into the museum and art world. While this move brought its fair share of difficulties, it was a brave step influenced by my passion for the field. How do we forgive ourselves for such pivotal decisions?

Breaking Free from Guilt

It’s important to recognize that every big or small decision has its own set of outcomes, both desired and unexpected. The decision to chase your passion—no matter how daunting or uncertain the path—should be celebrated. You are not alone in your journey; many have walked similar paths, encountered setbacks, and emerged stronger. Biographies of successful artists, such as those of Ai Weiwei, Yayoi Kusama, and Chuck Close, illustrate that perseverance through challenges is a common thread. Additionally, reading insights from renowned authors like Jordan Peterson, whose book “12 Rules for Life” provides valuable perspectives, can be enlightening.

Strategies for Forgive Yourself

When someone finds it hard to forgive themselves for such a significant decision, it’s important to re-evaluate the process. Here are several strategies to consider:

Be Realistic: Set aside emotions and maintain a clear headed perspective. Understand that not all passions align with financial gain, and that’s okay. Honest Self-Reflection: Ask yourself if you’ve been completely truthful with yourself about your motivations and potential outcomes. List Pros and Cons: Make a thorough list of the advantages and disadvantages to ensure a balanced view. Consider Multiple Outcomes: Anticipate various scenarios and prepare for how you might react and act in each situation. Incorporate Life Goals and Values: Align the decision with your overall life goals and core values to ensure it aligns with your broader intentions. Seek Feedback: When making a big decision, it can be helpful to consult with trusted friends, mentors, or professionals who can offer valuable perspectives. Document the Journey: Keeping a journal of the decision-making process can provide clarity and help you understand your thoughts and emotions more deeply.

Embrace the Learning Curve

Understanding that your past version of self was simply a phase in your life can be liberating. Every experience, whether apparent success or setback, is a valuable lesson. Recognize that your earlier self was taking a step towards your current self with the wisdom and resources available at that time. Realize that growth is a continuous process, and that each version of yourself contributes to the rich tapestry of your life.

Life is, at its essence, a series of continuous versions of yourself. Every decision, every experience, shapes the person you are today. Embracing the learning curve and acknowledging that yesterday's self is now part of your ongoing journey can foster a deep sense of acceptance. By viewing past decisions as part of a larger life process, you can find peace and move forward with greater confidence.

Conclusion

While it’s natural to look back and sometimes question our past choices, it’s equally important to move forward and learn from those experiences. Forgive yourself for the bold and brave decisions you’ve made, recognizing that they are part of your unique journey. This mindset shift can lead to greater peace, acceptance, and personal growth.